Reminiscences of Vivekananda by Brahmachari Jnana

Later I went to Belur Math. I wanted to see Swamiji in his room, but no one was allowed to enter because of his ill health. With his strong body, Niranjan Maharaj (Swami Niranjanananda) was guarding Swamiji’s door. While he was talking with someone I quickly crawled between his legs and entered the room. Swamis Brahmananda and Saradananda were talking to Swamiji. As soon as I entered they said to Niranjan Maharaj with a smile: “Well, what a wonderful guard you are! How could this boy get in?” 

Swamiji recognized me immediately and asked: “Why did you leave Mayavati?” 

I said: “You told me, that I could come, when you were at Belur Math”. 

He did not say anything further. 

While he was at Mayavati, he had asked Mrs. Sevier for a picture for the shrine at Belur Math. I carried that picture. On my way the glass of the frame was broken. I was afraid Swamiji might scold me. But he was happy to have the picture and did not scold me. 

I began to worship the Master in the shrine of Belur Math, and Swamiji would come there regularly for Meditation. One day he initiated me, although I did not ask him to. He asked me to put on the gerua (ochre) cloth. I had no cloth, so Swami Shivananda gave me two pieces of gerua cloth. 

Afterwards I put on whatever cloth was available, which was sometimes red, pink, or white. Gopal-da (Swami Advaitananda) would tease me, calling me a chameleon. Then Swamiji asked me to wear the gerua cloth all the time. 

Towards the end of Swamiji’s life, his health broke down. … I lived with Swamiji at Belur Math for eight months before his passing. A few times I accompanied him to Calcutta for a visit or to accept an invitation. I went with him to the home of his sister, who loved him very much. Towards the end he could not eat much, but I could eat a lot. … 

Swamiji had immense love for the boys, who came to him at Belur Math, leaving hearth and home to become monks. Once a Western devotee presented a fancy glass to Swamiji. He asked a young disciple to make orange juice in that glass, but he accidentally broke it. A senior monk loudly reprimanded the young disciple. When Swamiji heard about it, he said to the senior monk: “When we went to the Master, he made us his own by pouring love in us. These boys have come here, leaving their families and homes. It is not right to scold them harshly. How can they stay here? A glass ends up that way; it does not die from cholera or tuberculosis”. Swamiji had limitless love and affection for those, who had renounced home. He considered himself to be the servant of those, who had renounced everything in the name of Sri Ramakrishna. 

Once one of Swamiji’s attendants at Belur Math had fever with a 104 degree Fahrenheit temperature. Swamiji called me and said: “My son, please bring a little charanamrita (sanctified water) of the Master for this boy”. I smiled at this, wondering how charanamrita could cure the fever. Because Swamiji had ordered me to, I was about to go to the shrine. Swamiji sensed my attitude and said: “You can go; you will not have to bring it”. He himself went to the shrine, brought the charanamrita, and fed the patient — and the patient was cured. During his last days we used to hear Swamiji chant: “Jai Prabho, Jai Prabho!” (Victory to the Master, Victory to the Master); “Ma, Ma, Ma!”; “Shiva, Shiva, Shiva!” The deep sound of his voice reverberated throughout the monastery.

Brahmachari Jnana

(Prabuddha Bharata, May, 2013, “Reminiscences of Vivekananda by Brahmachari Jnana”, translated by Swami Chetanananda, pp. 328-9)